GUIDING PRINCIPLES
Interpersonal Guidelines (for all meetings and gatherings)
Sharing time:
We make space for all voices so that everyone feels welcome to share. We look at our patterns of sharing to know whether we might want to listen more or speak up more. We are a circle of keynote listeners and we aspire to contribute to the circle when truly called forth by the flow of the conversation.
Trusting discomfort:
We can sit with discomfort, questions, uncertainty and suppress reactive emotional responses to others’ sharing.
Making way for silence:
We welcome touches of silence throughout the conversation. To let the sharing settle in, we take a few moments after a person expresses something.
Expressing thankfulness:
We express gratitude for and celebrate things we appreciate about our co-participants in the IRN and our group process knowing this enhances our connections with each other.
Moving with ease:
We engage in our tasks at a pace and in a manner that foster inner balance, creativity, playfulness, joy and fluidity. We remain steady (not frenzied), deliberate (without urgency), peaceful (not fearful), gradual (not hurried).
Invitation to bring the whole self:
We attend to and appropriately share our emotions, intuitions and thoughts remembering that each of these carry their own unique forms of wisdom/intelligence.
Balancing the needs of self and of the whole group:
~We take care of ourselves – each of us know our needs better than anyone. As needed, we draw on self-regulation methods and other inner resources.
~We discern healthy ways to balance our individual needs with the needs of others and the needs of the group.
Observing multiple levels of confidentiality:
(see deep dive conversation guidelines below):
~We never share someone’s name or what he/she expressed during our time together unless we have their explicit permission to do so.
~If we wish to follow-up with someone later about something they shared, we ask their permission first.
Communicating mindfully:
~We listen attentively when others speak.
~We discern if something needs to be shared in the group or if it can be processed internally or with someone else at another time.
~We use “I statements” and avoid “we statements” that might inaccurately universalize experience.
~We respect the autonomy of each person’s perspective. If we disagree, we do so with respect. We refrain from blaming, shaming or attacking ourselves or others.
~We hold the intention of being kind even when we are in a conflictual situation.
~We honor silence as a mode of group discernment.
Welcoming inclusivity and respect:
~We strive towards creating a diverse community where everyone is welcomed with respect and where every voice is honored. Although our mission/vision is shared, we understand and value the critical need to become a Network represented by individuals from various backgrounds who have important perspectives – particularly those who have been marginalized.
Striving towards an open mind:
~We strive to be open-minded to others’ ideas, feelings, worldviews and ways of doing things so that greater exploration and understanding are possible.
Creating safe space: reducing and repairing harm:
~We are dedicated to deepening our awareness of our social conditioning that is potentially harmful.
~We are willing to give and receive honest feedback about the impact of our words and actions.
Honoring creative edges and brave learning spaces:
~We remain open to learning from our individual and collective edges, our discomforts, uncertainties and creative tensions while attending to how we are learning and growing.
~We respect our own need for safety while reaching outside our comfort zones.
~We are willing to be curious, take risks, be uncomfortable and make “mistakes” remembering that all living systems evolve through trial and error.
Growing in compassion for self and others:
~Practice compassion and caring for ourselves and others.
Embracing different kinds of leadership:
~We value different forms of leadership.
~We respect the facilitators of each gathering
~We share our positive and constructive feedback at the appropriate times.
Acknowledging imperfections:
~We recognize with self-compassion the mistakes we make as we strive to improve ourselves.
~We apologize and make amends if our actions have hurt someone.
Accountability and Transparency
~We honor our commitments
~We share what is going on for us that might impact others in the group or the IRN
~We share openly all documents involved with IRN projects and planning
Embracing diverse voices and inclusivity
~We actively seek more and better ways to include marginalized voices in our projects
~We strive for a balance of gender and race as much as possible
AGREEMENTS FOR DEEPER CONVERSATIONS
(can be changed as time passes and insights arise):
~We maintain confidentiality.
~We speak our truth from our hearts and souls.
~We remain on the agreed upon topic.
~We share as deeply/personally as we are comfortable.
~We allow uncomfortable emotions without over-comforting or giving advice.
~We orient away from administrative issues and towards inner inquiry.
~We stay present authentically and honestly.
~We listen to ourselves and to others deeply and respectfully.
~We don’t cross talk during the circle.
~We take responsibility for ourselves.
~We suspend judgment.
~We respect ourselves and others.
~We maintain an open mind about the process and content.
~We share the time fairly and are mindful of our airtime.
~We read these agreements at the beginning of each deep dive conversation.
Interpersonal Guidelines (for all meetings and gatherings)
Sharing time:
We make space for all voices so that everyone feels welcome to share. We look at our patterns of sharing to know whether we might want to listen more or speak up more. We are a circle of keynote listeners and we aspire to contribute to the circle when truly called forth by the flow of the conversation.
Trusting discomfort:
We can sit with discomfort, questions, uncertainty and suppress reactive emotional responses to others’ sharing.
Making way for silence:
We welcome touches of silence throughout the conversation. To let the sharing settle in, we take a few moments after a person expresses something.
Expressing thankfulness:
We express gratitude for and celebrate things we appreciate about our co-participants in the IRN and our group process knowing this enhances our connections with each other.
Moving with ease:
We engage in our tasks at a pace and in a manner that foster inner balance, creativity, playfulness, joy and fluidity. We remain steady (not frenzied), deliberate (without urgency), peaceful (not fearful), gradual (not hurried).
Invitation to bring the whole self:
We attend to and appropriately share our emotions, intuitions and thoughts remembering that each of these carry their own unique forms of wisdom/intelligence.
Balancing the needs of self and of the whole group:
~We take care of ourselves – each of us know our needs better than anyone. As needed, we draw on self-regulation methods and other inner resources.
~We discern healthy ways to balance our individual needs with the needs of others and the needs of the group.
Observing multiple levels of confidentiality:
(see deep dive conversation guidelines below):
~We never share someone’s name or what he/she expressed during our time together unless we have their explicit permission to do so.
~If we wish to follow-up with someone later about something they shared, we ask their permission first.
Communicating mindfully:
~We listen attentively when others speak.
~We discern if something needs to be shared in the group or if it can be processed internally or with someone else at another time.
~We use “I statements” and avoid “we statements” that might inaccurately universalize experience.
~We respect the autonomy of each person’s perspective. If we disagree, we do so with respect. We refrain from blaming, shaming or attacking ourselves or others.
~We hold the intention of being kind even when we are in a conflictual situation.
~We honor silence as a mode of group discernment.
Welcoming inclusivity and respect:
~We strive towards creating a diverse community where everyone is welcomed with respect and where every voice is honored. Although our mission/vision is shared, we understand and value the critical need to become a Network represented by individuals from various backgrounds who have important perspectives – particularly those who have been marginalized.
Striving towards an open mind:
~We strive to be open-minded to others’ ideas, feelings, worldviews and ways of doing things so that greater exploration and understanding are possible.
Creating safe space: reducing and repairing harm:
~We are dedicated to deepening our awareness of our social conditioning that is potentially harmful.
~We are willing to give and receive honest feedback about the impact of our words and actions.
Honoring creative edges and brave learning spaces:
~We remain open to learning from our individual and collective edges, our discomforts, uncertainties and creative tensions while attending to how we are learning and growing.
~We respect our own need for safety while reaching outside our comfort zones.
~We are willing to be curious, take risks, be uncomfortable and make “mistakes” remembering that all living systems evolve through trial and error.
Growing in compassion for self and others:
~Practice compassion and caring for ourselves and others.
Embracing different kinds of leadership:
~We value different forms of leadership.
~We respect the facilitators of each gathering
~We share our positive and constructive feedback at the appropriate times.
Acknowledging imperfections:
~We recognize with self-compassion the mistakes we make as we strive to improve ourselves.
~We apologize and make amends if our actions have hurt someone.
Accountability and Transparency
~We honor our commitments
~We share what is going on for us that might impact others in the group or the IRN
~We share openly all documents involved with IRN projects and planning
Embracing diverse voices and inclusivity
~We actively seek more and better ways to include marginalized voices in our projects
~We strive for a balance of gender and race as much as possible
AGREEMENTS FOR DEEPER CONVERSATIONS
(can be changed as time passes and insights arise):
~We maintain confidentiality.
~We speak our truth from our hearts and souls.
~We remain on the agreed upon topic.
~We share as deeply/personally as we are comfortable.
~We allow uncomfortable emotions without over-comforting or giving advice.
~We orient away from administrative issues and towards inner inquiry.
~We stay present authentically and honestly.
~We listen to ourselves and to others deeply and respectfully.
~We don’t cross talk during the circle.
~We take responsibility for ourselves.
~We suspend judgment.
~We respect ourselves and others.
~We maintain an open mind about the process and content.
~We share the time fairly and are mindful of our airtime.
~We read these agreements at the beginning of each deep dive conversation.